Lonely without a group?

Question

Wanted to know if any of you were having the same problem I'm having?
Our local HS co-op group is the ONLY one in the county. (Our county is also very rural...no malls, movies or anything of that nature within 25 miles at least. Even the parks are rundown and basically deserted.) There are a few multi-child families that pretty much "run" the co-op. Me and my kid do not fit in. I don't know why, but we were out from the start...I didn't even know it until after I seen a few of them out in public and couldn't get a response to a friendly "hello".
My child is still too young to get involved with community sports, scouts, and the like. Gotta be 6, I checked. Doesn't matter that she's doing 1st grade work. The few friends we have are all public school families that are involved in after school sports, cheer and "stuff".
So, my child is getting quite lonely for playmates. It's starting to break my heart, and I'm beginning to doubt my choice to homeschool. I never thought that the whole ridiculous "socialization" issue would actually BE an issue with my family. Can anyone offer advise in this area?

Answer 1

This sometimes happens in support groups. The people who run it probably aren't aware of what they are doing and are just comfortable with each other. But if you are feeling this way, I'd guess that there are probably other people in your area with the same problem.



If I were you, I'd try starting up some things of your own. Either try advertising some events through the group you are currently a part of and see if anyone comes (assuming the people in charge allow members to organize things on their own).



Or set up a new homeschool group. Set up a Yahoogroup for it. Make it so that you have to approve members, to make sure that they really are homeschoolers in your area. Find places to advertise it in your area: the local public library is usually a great place to start, on the bulletin boards at grocery stores or churches or in the community events part of a newspaper or wherever. Organize things that you'll do whether anyone else shows up or not; eventually, you'll find other people coming and all it really takes is one other family that you get along with to have a successful group.



Some events to try: playdates in public places; getting together at the library; hikes; nature exploration; tours of places like the fire station, police station, grocery stores, banks, post office, etc.; tours of local historical places; "show and tell" time to have the children show off something and tell about it to the others; or even set up a co-op style class where you can teach a lesson or do a craft with any other kids of a similar age that show up.



I've found that if you take the time to set up events that your child enjoys (and are willing to do them even if no one else comes along), others will eventually show up. And you'll probably find others in your area who haven't really participated in that group for similar reasons....

Answer 2

Melissa C is right that it doesn't reflect well on the families who "run" the co-op. It's sounds like they'd like to control who enters their clique. There could any number of reasons, you don't go to their church, you don't use the same home schooling style they do, you have the wrong political affiliation, or you hang out with the wrong element, like your public school friends. LOL. Oh, well, let them isolate themselves. It is their loss. Remember that people who home school are people too, and that mean people exist in every group! I don't think it reflects on families who home school in other areas.



Are there enough home schooled kids in the area that you might be able to start up another more welcoming group? Do you belong to a church that has kids groups? If your church doesn't, maybe your daughter could still attend activities at another church. My daughter has done that. Melissa C.'s idea to contact the local schools to see if your daughter could participate in any of the activities at the public school is good. Other than those suggestions, I don't know, short of moving or trying the local schools.

Answer 3

I am so sorry that the people in your co op are treating you like that, it really does not reflect well on them. Have you voiced your concerns to make sure you aren't reading to much into it?



Anyway, that aside, do the public schools in your area allow home schoolers to participate in activities at the school? The local Middle school is begging my daughter to join there band and she may. They also always want her to take the standardized test at their school because she does well and thus raises their "grade" for the school. You need to find out the policies for your area are. Be polite but dont take the first "no" that you get. A lot of people at the schools don't know the rules and you will have to ask them to double check. If you go to www.hslda.org, it may have the laws for your area and if they allow home schoolers in.



Good luck!

Answer 4

I totally understand where you are coming from. I also live 25 miles from a large city, (out in the country). I have also found my co-op to be unfriendly. I am thinking it is because most of them have VERY large families, and they simply do not have the time or mental energy to give to anyone outside of their family. I have resolved myself to feel a little alienated when I am around them, and have prayed and resolved that I need to be content. If you feel that way, many people do.



For yourself, you could join a homeschoolers Message Board. (I used to have one I loved, and enjoyed keeping up with everyone. Eventually the moderator grew tired of it and shut it down. Have not found a good one since. Email me at annegrande"at"gmail.com if you want to start one).



For your daughter, I'd put up notes in the library, on free newsletters, to find other HSrs for a Park Day. You could also check out Prks and Rec.



Hope these thoughts help, I know how it goes! It can get better, though, my kids and I are now hooked in and happy with a group of friends from our neighborhood, and the HSing community.



Anne