I home school my 14 year old daughter and now she wants to go back to public school. what should I do?

Question

Should I allow her to go back to public school or continue to home school her and let her also attend college (she attends college now)? She thinks she needs to be around 14 year olds instead of college students.

Answer 1

Let her go back to public school. I've been homeschooled since 8th grade and I've also taken college classes. I'm ready to finish high school in a year, and even though I've achieved so much by being homeschooled, I really regret all the social activities and time with friends that I've missed out on. Let your daughter make her own choice on this.

Answer 2

She may be right. There's a big difference between a 14yo and 18-22+ yo's. She likely will not feel that she fits in in any way. While she might be able to have a conversation here and there and it'll be okay, for the most part, she is going to have little interaction with people she can really relate to. However, this might also be related to whatever experience she previously had in public school. How long was she in school before homeschooling?



At the age she's at, I think you've got to really discuss this with her before coming to any decision. Figure out what worries you about her going to high school, figure out in what way homeschooling isn't meeting her needs (the 14yo homeschoolers I know are very active with other kids roughly their age and don't feel the need to be in school to get that social need met), discuss possibilities for changing that, make sure she has a clear view of what school is like, etc. Even hypothetically discuss how she would deal with different awful scenarios that could pop up. Take your time and let her know that you want to discuss this more than once so that you both are clear about each other's feelings and wants.



When it's all through, if your preference would still be to homeschool her and she still wants to be in school, the decision will depend a lot on her, what she's like, the likely behaviour/attitude outcome for her if you insist she continues homeschooling, etc. and what will be in her long-term best interests.



To explain further: I once met the mom of a 13yo who was in her 2nd year homeschooling. The girl HATED homeschooling; was thoroughly embarrassed by it (she complained to her mom when the mom said they were homeschooling because she said it was "embarrassing"--there were only homeschoolers around). Just by watching her and listening to her, I bet she had frequent fits and pleading sessions to be allowed to go back to public school. Yet, her mother was determined to homeschool them and was loving it. Just the way this girl *was*, you knew homeschooling was the best thing for her so that she would hopefully become less peer/superficially focused and gain some actual sense of self and true confidence.



On the flip side, I knew a girl who was an only child, single mom, the girl was quite responsible, had been in public school before 3 years of homeschooling and was just really craving some more social interaction (she didn't even really have anybody she could have called a friend), which was difficult since she wasn't driving age and her mom worked days. They talked and it was decided the girl would go back to school for her gr. 9 year. Afaik, the girl has been there for 2 years and all has been good.



A long way to say that it's going to depend on a lot of factors!

Answer 3

Hey!

I am 14 and am homeschooled. I have been homeschooled my whole life..I really want to go to highschool next year. I like being homeschooled and I do alot of sports in the school, but on offsport seasons my social life is nonexistant. My parents won't let me go to highschool next year because I am a year ahead of where I would be in public school, so I would have to redo a year. I think you should ask her if she would like to get involved in some extra activities at the school instead. Like sports, cross country, ballet, something that might interest her. Doing both highschool and college will take up alot of her time and probably will not leave much for socializing. Please be understanding of how she feels! (I wish my parents were). Also she might be able to take electives in public school without doing a whole school day, or she could do half a day in school. Definitaly get her involved with kids her age. That is really important to people our age! If you have any more questions E-mail me at [e-mail]

Answer 4

I believe in homeschooling , I think it's great. But you know, some people enjoy public school. They thrive on the challenge of being in a class, like all the rituals and extra-curriculars and can actually get a good education. It is possible. I think that if your daughter really wants to try out public school she should. Of course she will have to know that her marks should stay up and she can always go back to homeschool if she changes her mind. I have 5 children. Four really did not do well in public school. My fifth has never been to school. She does okay at home but she has the kind of learning style and personality that would do well in school. I always tell her that she could give it a try if she wants to. So far she hasn't, but kids need to try new things and go out in the world sometimes. She needs to know that you trust her and don't want to confine her.

Answer 5

If she's doing college work at 14, she might be very bored in PS, also school may or may not turn out to be what she expected. However, if she feels the need to be with more kids her age, I wouldn't dismiss her.



My daughter is 17 today, she started college courses through dual-enrollment as soon as she turned 15, but she has never wanted to go to regular high school. If she did, I would probably look into part-time attendance if the school board allows it (ours does for homeschoolers), and encourage her to keep taking some college classes part time.



In our county, there are some college courses taught in the high schools to other dual enrollment high school students so they can take their courses during the day right on the high school campus-- perhaps if your area has something like this it would be good for her because she would get to go to school with kids her age, but still take courses that will challenge her and keep her advancing academically.



Only other option I can think of is trying to find a homeschool co-op for teens or some other activities outside of school that might satisfy her.

Answer 6

Some schools have programs where the students can still attend college classes. It's a tough decision. But she is a kid, and I can see why she would want to be around people her age... Talk about the normal 14 year old girl stuff, hang out with them... You know. You can schedule a meet with the school principal, and he/she can give you a tour of the school, give you the average GPA, test scores... all that. Good luck. =]

Answer 7

I was in your situation last year. I home schooled my son and he said that he wanted to go back to public school ( after 5 years of homeschooling) for high school , he is also 14. He went and he is doing great. He also wanted to be around kids his age and have the high school experience , so I let him make his own decision and I haven't regretted it .

Answer 8

If she wants to go back then let her. My 12 year old was homeschooled and when we moved asked me if he could go back and he loves it. My 9 year old was also curious but she hated it and was back homeschooled within a month! She is right about being around kids her own age instead of college students....

Answer 9

While homeschooling offers opportunities to be with and learn from people of all ages, I do agree that she needs to spend some of her time with those in her own age group.



As an alternative to public school, are there any teen groups she can join? Youth/teen center? 4H? Dance? Martial arts?

Answer 10

I agree you should listen to her, and she should listen to you. Take in to consideration who your daughter is. Do you feel this is a phase or is this something that has come up in one way or another before? Is it purely social, or something more?

Would joining a homeschool group that has students her age help or is that just not the real issue at all?

Also, what is her goal? I mean, to be in college at fourteen, she has to have a reason. Our state does not even allow students to enroll in CC until fifteen, so what does she want to do that has her so driven? Will she be able to pursue that while in PS?

I would try to find someone to talk to that has been in your situation before and talk to them, and talk to a counselor at your local PS and find out what they require for admissions and also what they have available in dual credits.

Ultimately, the decision is yours, but the main thing to consider is how the decision will ultimately affect your daughter. I know parents that firmly believe in homeschool and it's benefits, but they have their children in PS because it is what is best for their particular children at that particular time.

And please remember that if your daughter chooses PS and it is a choice based on wise counsel and deep consideration, then you have done a great job with her and your experience has served it's purpose.

Answer 11

Consider her request in light of all your reasons for homeschooling, in light of the condition of the Public Schools in your area, what her academic needs are, etc.



Only you can decide what to do. Only you know how strongly you feel about homeschooling.



Have you tried getting her involved in some non-school or after school activities with kids her own age? Things like swim team, sports clubs, homeschool co-ops, book discussion groups, etc.?



If my daughter wanted to I would at least consider it, I am not sure what I would decide, but I would try to take her feelings into account.



Maybe private school would be an option? It isn't for me because of cost, but of course I don't know your financial situation.

Answer 12

It's tough being a parent sometimes, isn't it! None of us on here know either of you well enough to answer that question. You have to look at everything and decide what is best for her. She is only 14. Let her do what she wants isn't always the answer. That doesn't mean you just dismiss her wants. It means you think carefully about it and make the best decision.

Answer 13

What will happen if you force her to continue with the homeschool program? Will her interest in it (and education) drop? Will she find other ways to defy you?

Your daughter is right -- she does need to spend time with her peers instead of college students (none of whom are her friends, I can guarantee you).

Set some ground rules, and graciously allow her to go to public school -- as long as she maintains a high grade point average.

If you don't you are setting your daughter up to rebel in the worst possible way.

Answer 14

If that is what she wants... give her a chance to experience an environment with other kids her age. Hopefully she's smart enough to realize it's probably a waste of her time, but she might make some friends & get attached.



You can still stay involved with her education!

Answer 15

It is difficult to answer without knowing you or your daughter. You are going to get a variety of opinions, but mine is that home schooling is an overused option.



If you trust your daughter's judgment and have confidence in the school system - than absolutely you should get her in school.



The burden of proof would rest with you that she should stay at home and not vice versa

Answer 16

she is obviously a college-educated girl and can make her own decisions

Answer 17

I don't even believe a word you're saying. A 14 year old in college??? And you're wondering what to do with her. If it don't make sense, it's probably not true.

Answer 18

yes let your daughter go she sounds like a smart kid she knows what she needs

Answer 19

Whats wrong with her wanting to be around people her own age? It's important for her social development. Let her go.

Answer 20

take her records from her online teacher, and take her to the school district in your area!!

Answer 21

She is so right . Let her live her life!!

Answer 22

Let her go to a real high school, she needs to be around people her age or she could have a lot of social problems when she's older. She needs to learn how to relate to kids her age. She needs a real social life.

Answer 23

I'm letting my 15 year old go to boarding school for the social aspects.



By all means let her do what she wants. My kid is also highly gifted. I think it is important that they hang out with their peers. Your daughter got a terrific academic background. Now let her have some very needed social experiences so she can someday have the wherewithal to put that academic experience to good use and influence others as a consequence of getting to interact with peers now.



Oh, remember the Unabomber. He was quite accelerated academically, but was a loner who just couldnt' fit in due to his upbringing.

Answer 24

let her go 2 public school and enjoy her childhood while she can

Answer 25

That kid has a lot of sense.

Answer 26

Send her to school! You have no idea what she's missing out on!!! She needs to be around kids her age so she can have a normal social life!!!